Sunday, February 26, 2006
Manhattan or Bust
I won't be posting here at Porn Watcher for the next week or so because I'm going on a business trip to New York and will be away from my computer. I have some meetings, will be seeing a couple of Broadway shows, maybe an opera at the Met, and, hopefully, I'll secure some terrific new porn.
I may even have an adventure or two, since a good friend will be taking me to some seedy gay bars in Greenwich Village.
I promise to report everything. I'll be back in a week. Until then, keep wacking and shooting.
I may even have an adventure or two, since a good friend will be taking me to some seedy gay bars in Greenwich Village.
I promise to report everything. I'll be back in a week. Until then, keep wacking and shooting.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
The Very Hot "Miss Kitty"
It’s been a while since I watched any movies starring my namesake Axel Garret, so the other night I pulled out Miss Kitty’s Litter, one of his two bisexual flicks. This film may boast one of the lousiest titles in the history of porn, and that’s unfortunate since the movie is one of that same history’s hottest.
Set a hundred and twenty years ago in an anonymous Old West town, Axel is married to the local Madame (played by the voluptuous and lascivious T.J. Hart), and in the first scene fucks the shit out of her. The stars, in addition to Garret and Ms. Hart, include Alex Wilcox, Javier Duran, John Hart, Winston Love, Jack Reilly, Tina Tyler, Jose Davis, Mark Steel, Lauren Montgomery, Duncan Mills, Eric Jon and Haus Weston. Every one of them is very hot, and knows exactly what they’re doing when it comes to sucking and fucking, whether they’re fucking pussy or boy-butt.
This 1999 video was a break though of sorts for Axel. It constituted a brief comeback, his first movie following a seven year retirement. He shot the equally hot How the West was Hung, a completely gay flick, at the same time this was filmed. In earlier videos, Axel was the hung, handsome, quiet type. In Miss Kitty’s Litter, he suddenly developed a filthy mouth, which is an amazing turn on. While his Madame/wife is rimming him in the first scene, for instance, he seductively murmurs, "Yeah, lick my ass-hole with that pretty mouth." I like that. A lot.
Set a hundred and twenty years ago in an anonymous Old West town, Axel is married to the local Madame (played by the voluptuous and lascivious T.J. Hart), and in the first scene fucks the shit out of her. The stars, in addition to Garret and Ms. Hart, include Alex Wilcox, Javier Duran, John Hart, Winston Love, Jack Reilly, Tina Tyler, Jose Davis, Mark Steel, Lauren Montgomery, Duncan Mills, Eric Jon and Haus Weston. Every one of them is very hot, and knows exactly what they’re doing when it comes to sucking and fucking, whether they’re fucking pussy or boy-butt.
This 1999 video was a break though of sorts for Axel. It constituted a brief comeback, his first movie following a seven year retirement. He shot the equally hot How the West was Hung, a completely gay flick, at the same time this was filmed. In earlier videos, Axel was the hung, handsome, quiet type. In Miss Kitty’s Litter, he suddenly developed a filthy mouth, which is an amazing turn on. While his Madame/wife is rimming him in the first scene, for instance, he seductively murmurs, "Yeah, lick my ass-hole with that pretty mouth." I like that. A lot.
Axel Garret
The movie sports a couple of wackable, albeit Axeless, three-ways: one involving the local sheriff, his prisoner and the prisoner’s wife who arrives with bail; the other featuring two missionaries (one of each sex) who minister to an unconscious cowboy through prayer and cocksucking.
But the most interesting sequence is a huge orgy at the cat house that fills out the last third of the film. Axel, his Madame/wife, her whore co-worker and about eight guys all go at it, the gentleman just as involved with each other as the ladies are. The sequence lasts almost half an hour, and it’s worth every minute of screen time. The sex is imaginative, carnal and very hot. In the final moments of the orgy Hart is lying across a table being fucked by Alex Wilcox while Axel kneels over her jacking-off his huge, hairy, blonde cock. He issues Wilcox orders, "Oh, yeah, fuck my wife's pussy." Axel shoots one of his trade-mark prodigious loads of sticky cum all over Hart’s tits, then Wilcox pulls his dick out and shoots his jizz-wad onto her belly, while Axel grabs his buddy’s dick, manually pumping every last ounce of goo out. As he does, Axel smiles and says, "Yeah, shoot that cum all over my wife. Shoot it." Ah, my!
Director Chi Chi LaRue produces yet another astounding film (as is How the West was Hung), raising it well above your standard porn movie of any genre, and particularly above almost every other bisexual flick ever made. Even more importantly, Ms. LaRue has a singular understanding of the beauty of Axel’s blonde, fuzzy, rock-hard cock. This video best displays it to its fullest potential and sensual beauty, and I’ve seen all of Mr. Garret’s movies and can tell you, his dick is wonderfully displayed in almost every one.
Miss Kitty’s Litter is a thoroughly hot movie. If you like Axel Garret, or bisexual films, or really good porn, or you just need an exceptionally sensational stroke session, this is a DVD you’ll want to check out, and soon.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Exposing Even More of Heath
I’ve posted two of these candid pictures of Heath Ledger naked before, but here is a third I discovered in a Yahoo Group.
Now that I’ve seen Brokeback Mountain, I know these stills were taken during the filming of the scene where Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal strip off their clothes and run to the edge of a cliff, jumping into a lake thirty or forty feet below. In the movie, this scene is filmed in an extreme long shot, although you still get a quick glimpse of Heath’s flapping cock if you watch very closely. Luckily during the filming of this scene, some industrious industry perv snapped these candid shots from a nearby vantage point. Lucky for us.
Just a side note, I did see wider versions of these pictures at yet another website, tragically forgetting to save them before completely forgetting which website I saw them on. Interestingly enough, the guy who jumps naked into the water with Heath is not Jake Gyllenhaal, but is, in fact, a body double. So what these pictures teach us is, Heath is uninhibited, exhibitionistic and definitely not Jewish.
You go for it Heath! Let’s see even more. Please!
Now that I’ve seen Brokeback Mountain, I know these stills were taken during the filming of the scene where Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal strip off their clothes and run to the edge of a cliff, jumping into a lake thirty or forty feet below. In the movie, this scene is filmed in an extreme long shot, although you still get a quick glimpse of Heath’s flapping cock if you watch very closely. Luckily during the filming of this scene, some industrious industry perv snapped these candid shots from a nearby vantage point. Lucky for us.Just a side note, I did see wider versions of these pictures at yet another website, tragically forgetting to save them before completely forgetting which website I saw them on. Interestingly enough, the guy who jumps naked into the water with Heath is not Jake Gyllenhaal, but is, in fact, a body double. So what these pictures teach us is, Heath is uninhibited, exhibitionistic and definitely not Jewish.
You go for it Heath! Let’s see even more. Please!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
VHS vs DVD
Want to know what I miss about porn on videotape?
Before I tell you, please understand when it comes to the larger picture, of course I prefer my whacking material on DVD. The picture is crisper and clearer, and the color is terrific. The sound is fuller, more vivid, and is stunningly impressive on an expensive system. The DVDs usually contain interesting bonuses, including stills, production materials, deleted sex scenes, previews, and other fun things that aren’t available on videotape. It’s always easy to jump to a scene in the middle of the movie without fast-forwarding, then rewinding, then fast-forwarding again, back and forth for twenty minutes. And, needless to say, DVDs don’t wear out as tape does. With very little care a DVD will last, literally, forever.
So, then you must be asking, "Jeez, Axel, what is it about video tape you could possibly miss?" Easy answer: You would loan an adult videotape to a friend, or your roommate would snag one and disappear with it for an hour or so, and eventually they return it. But when they returned it, they almost always forgot to rewind it. There was something voyeuristic, something naughty about shoving that tape into a VCR, rewinding it for just a moment, and then hitting play. You would suddenly be watching the last moments your buddy was enjoying just before he turned it off. In other words, you were watching the moment that brought him to orgasm, the image that made him cum. There are few moments in life that allows you that intimately into your friends’ sexual consciousness.
And I liked that. And I miss it.
Before I tell you, please understand when it comes to the larger picture, of course I prefer my whacking material on DVD. The picture is crisper and clearer, and the color is terrific. The sound is fuller, more vivid, and is stunningly impressive on an expensive system. The DVDs usually contain interesting bonuses, including stills, production materials, deleted sex scenes, previews, and other fun things that aren’t available on videotape. It’s always easy to jump to a scene in the middle of the movie without fast-forwarding, then rewinding, then fast-forwarding again, back and forth for twenty minutes. And, needless to say, DVDs don’t wear out as tape does. With very little care a DVD will last, literally, forever.
So, then you must be asking, "Jeez, Axel, what is it about video tape you could possibly miss?" Easy answer: You would loan an adult videotape to a friend, or your roommate would snag one and disappear with it for an hour or so, and eventually they return it. But when they returned it, they almost always forgot to rewind it. There was something voyeuristic, something naughty about shoving that tape into a VCR, rewinding it for just a moment, and then hitting play. You would suddenly be watching the last moments your buddy was enjoying just before he turned it off. In other words, you were watching the moment that brought him to orgasm, the image that made him cum. There are few moments in life that allows you that intimately into your friends’ sexual consciousness.
And I liked that. And I miss it.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
More Bi Surprises Up The Butt
I recently wrote a blog post about a bisexual scene that popped up in an otherwise straight porn flick I was watching. I ended the post with this question: Can anyone think of any other straight adult films featuring bi or gay male sequences?
Well, Kevin John wrote back with an answer. He said, "Sure. Gerard Damiano's The Story of Joanna. Radley Metzger's Score, and his The Opening of Misty Beethoven features a man penetrated by a strap-on dildo. Not exactly bi but... "
Thanks Kevin John. Great finds I'll be looking for in my local porno store as soon as I can.
The Opening of Misty Beethoven is an interesting example. Does a straight guy getting fucked up the ass with a strap-on worn by a woman constitute a gay sequence? Well ... maybe. I can think of some Private films where guys get their poop-shoots stretched open by dildo-wearing chicks, and, God knows, there are many films featuring Rocco Siffredi with a finger or tongue up his ass-hole. It really makes you think, doesn't it?
I was recently in the fetish section at the local adult boutique and was looking at the vast array of strap-ons they had for sale. The packaging on these items is quite interesting. The cover of each box features a very attractive young woman standing with an equally (or more) attractive young man. The man always has his back to the camera showing his ass, looking over his shoulder with a somewhat surprised look on his face. Standing there at that moment I realized, to my great shock, that strap-on dildos are not being marketed to lesbians, but in fact are being pitched to straight couples. Straight couples with a gentleman wanting to be fucked up the ass. Just how prevalent is this in middle-class middle America? I guess there's lots of things going on in this country the religious right would rather we didn't know was going on. And apparently the religious right must be doing it as well, since there must have been thirty different types and styles available for purchase.
By the way, Kevin John told me I could share his name with all of you, as well as his e-mail address. If you'd like to discuss this further with him, write him at LiLiPUT1@aol.com
And if you'd like to continue discussing this (or any of the Porn Watcher posts) with me, you can do it right here. I look forward to hearing what you think.
Well, Kevin John wrote back with an answer. He said, "Sure. Gerard Damiano's The Story of Joanna. Radley Metzger's Score, and his The Opening of Misty Beethoven features a man penetrated by a strap-on dildo. Not exactly bi but... "
Thanks Kevin John. Great finds I'll be looking for in my local porno store as soon as I can.
The Opening of Misty Beethoven is an interesting example. Does a straight guy getting fucked up the ass with a strap-on worn by a woman constitute a gay sequence? Well ... maybe. I can think of some Private films where guys get their poop-shoots stretched open by dildo-wearing chicks, and, God knows, there are many films featuring Rocco Siffredi with a finger or tongue up his ass-hole. It really makes you think, doesn't it?
I was recently in the fetish section at the local adult boutique and was looking at the vast array of strap-ons they had for sale. The packaging on these items is quite interesting. The cover of each box features a very attractive young woman standing with an equally (or more) attractive young man. The man always has his back to the camera showing his ass, looking over his shoulder with a somewhat surprised look on his face. Standing there at that moment I realized, to my great shock, that strap-on dildos are not being marketed to lesbians, but in fact are being pitched to straight couples. Straight couples with a gentleman wanting to be fucked up the ass. Just how prevalent is this in middle-class middle America? I guess there's lots of things going on in this country the religious right would rather we didn't know was going on. And apparently the religious right must be doing it as well, since there must have been thirty different types and styles available for purchase.
By the way, Kevin John told me I could share his name with all of you, as well as his e-mail address. If you'd like to discuss this further with him, write him at LiLiPUT1@aol.com
And if you'd like to continue discussing this (or any of the Porn Watcher posts) with me, you can do it right here. I look forward to hearing what you think.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
My Hero & "Heroes"
I have an internet friend who is just about the nicest guy in the entire world. Bob is, like myself, a porn connoisseur. Bob first e-mailed me because he read this blog and wanted to talk about porn, Axel Garret, and the joys of jacking-off while watching people fuck on-screen. As we sent e-mails back and forth I mentioned a classic gay porn video I had once seen, then forgotten the title, and so had been unable to track down since. I told him about a hot locker room scene featuring Tim Kramer I had intensely beat-off to years before.
Almost immediately Bob e-mailed me a photograph. It was the exact scene from the exact movie I had been talking about. He told me it was called Heroes, directed by Robert Walters, was produced by the Nova company in 1984, and, in addition to Kramer, also starred Rick Donovan, Jim Bentley, Lee Thompson, Cole Taylor, Cliff Ryder, Brandon Wilde, Rydar Hanson, Tony Wilde, Rob Daniels, Steve Kolis, Matt Sullivan, and Danny Connors. The cast is a who’s who of the superstars from the classic days of Nova films.
Later in the week a package arrived in the mail. Bob had sent me a DVD of Heroes (I told you he is just about the nicest guy in the entire world.) I couldn’t wait to sit down, unzip my pants, and watch it again after all those years.
I recently wrote about the DVD’s ‘preview" section which featured an ad for a straight porn-site. That is odd. But the feature presentation is nothing less than spectacular.
The premise of Heroes is fairly simple. An attractive young high school teacher assigns a writing project to his English class. "My Hero" is the subject for the essay: Who is the person each student most looks up to? Of course, his all-male class is less interested in the homework assignment than they are in each other’s cocks. One boy has pulled his dick out to show his chum at the next desk when the teacher catches him in the act, then makes him stand up to show the entire class.
The boys head home after school and one of them strips to his tidy-whities, puts on a record (remember those?) of his favorite rock star, then starts composing his essay. As we hear the song on the record player (remember those?) we see, in fantasy flashback, the star performing the song onstage. Rick Donovan plays the rock star and, I believe, actually sings the song on the sound track. Allowing this in the final cut of the movie is a major artistic mistake. Donovan is dressed in tight white trousers, red suspenders with no shirt, and a fire-engine red sweatband to hold back his hair (remember those?)
Needless to say, the young student is transported into the fantasy and enjoys hard-core, athletic sex with His Hero the rock star. As is often the case with Rick Donovan's sex scenes, keeping his titanic cock hard becomes a slight issue, but the scene is still very, very erotic. And no matter how often you see it, Donovan’s massive member always makes your mouth drop open … in both surprise and lust.
Almost immediately Bob e-mailed me a photograph. It was the exact scene from the exact movie I had been talking about. He told me it was called Heroes, directed by Robert Walters, was produced by the Nova company in 1984, and, in addition to Kramer, also starred Rick Donovan, Jim Bentley, Lee Thompson, Cole Taylor, Cliff Ryder, Brandon Wilde, Rydar Hanson, Tony Wilde, Rob Daniels, Steve Kolis, Matt Sullivan, and Danny Connors. The cast is a who’s who of the superstars from the classic days of Nova films.
Later in the week a package arrived in the mail. Bob had sent me a DVD of Heroes (I told you he is just about the nicest guy in the entire world.) I couldn’t wait to sit down, unzip my pants, and watch it again after all those years.
I recently wrote about the DVD’s ‘preview" section which featured an ad for a straight porn-site. That is odd. But the feature presentation is nothing less than spectacular.
The premise of Heroes is fairly simple. An attractive young high school teacher assigns a writing project to his English class. "My Hero" is the subject for the essay: Who is the person each student most looks up to? Of course, his all-male class is less interested in the homework assignment than they are in each other’s cocks. One boy has pulled his dick out to show his chum at the next desk when the teacher catches him in the act, then makes him stand up to show the entire class.
The boys head home after school and one of them strips to his tidy-whities, puts on a record (remember those?) of his favorite rock star, then starts composing his essay. As we hear the song on the record player (remember those?) we see, in fantasy flashback, the star performing the song onstage. Rick Donovan plays the rock star and, I believe, actually sings the song on the sound track. Allowing this in the final cut of the movie is a major artistic mistake. Donovan is dressed in tight white trousers, red suspenders with no shirt, and a fire-engine red sweatband to hold back his hair (remember those?)
Needless to say, the young student is transported into the fantasy and enjoys hard-core, athletic sex with His Hero the rock star. As is often the case with Rick Donovan's sex scenes, keeping his titanic cock hard becomes a slight issue, but the scene is still very, very erotic. And no matter how often you see it, Donovan’s massive member always makes your mouth drop open … in both surprise and lust.
Rick Donovan
Next up is a nasty incest sequence. A young boy’s Hero is his brother away serving in the Navy. As he sits at his desk in the school library writing, he imagines his sibling in dress whites, slowly opening his pants and showing his bro his long, thick cock. Soon the sucking starts, naturally followed by the sailor butt-fucking his younger brother and cumming on his face. As the young guy writes his composition he strokes his hardening dick. Another boy is watching from across the library, but soon drops to all fours and crawls over to the oblivious young author. The second boy plunges his mouth over his friend’s cock and delivers one of adult cinema’s finest blowjobs. The two scenes, brother and brother, and brother and friend, intercut back and forth. A hot, sexy, ball-boiling sequence.
Then we get to the locker room scene I remembered so vividly from years ago. A staggeringly young Jim Bentley accompanies a friend to the locker room of his favorite baseball player, portrayed by the legendary Tim Kramer. I'm sure you can figure out exactly what happens. Nipple play, rimming, cock-sucking, butt-fucking, large loads of spurting cum, everything you’d expect to see in a high energy three-way. I could describe in detail what happens here, what I find so hot and nasty about this scene, but I wouldn’t do it justice. Trust me, this is an amazing sequence, and if this is the only part of the movie you watch, I promise it’ll get you off. Probably more than once. Maybe more than twice.
The Locker Room Scene from "Heroes"
Tim Kramer remains one of the hottest stars from gay porn’s Golden Age. He was a big blonde stud with a huge cock who seemed to be willing to do almost anything in front of a camera. I have yet to be disappointed by any performance Kramer has delivered in any film.
Tim Kramer
But there's still more to come. The film’s final sequence may be its hottest. The teacher receives the compositions written by his students but is pleasently surprised by the themes his cock-hungry, boy-slut students have written. After he dismisses the class, he retains one boy who hasn’t turned anything in. It seems out the boy is embarrassed because His Hero is the teacher. Profoundly touched, the educator makes the boy suck his stiff rod (I don’t understand it either, I’m just telling you what happens.) As the two humping sex-pigs get into some passionate lovemaking, another boy returns unseen to the classroom. He clandestinely pulls out his cock, jacking-off to the spectacle before him. Yet another student shows up, and is forcibly masturbated by the initial jacker. Eventually, they join the teacher and first boy for a hot, churning four-way. After the messy, wet finish the quartette are surprised to discover yet another student has been watching their antics. The new guy moans loudly, shooting his wad of salty jizz onto the classroom floor.
This is the type of film that defines what a classic porn flick is. Hot sex, nasty men with mind-bogglingly large dicks, and subject matter that is right on the edge of social decency. If you see Heroes on a video store shelf or you have the opportunity to rent or buy it from a porn website, grab it. You won’t be sorry.
Now I wonder what else Bob has lying around that he may no longer want …
Monday, February 13, 2006
A Mainstream Movie Weekend
This doesn’t have a lot to do with porn, but I rented a main-stream movie last night that is very close to obscene (albeit hilariously funny.) In addition to seeing that film, I also caught Brokeback Mountain, which I promised in an earlier post I would report on once I'd seen it.
Well, I finally got around to it this weekend. It's an amazing, disturbing, romantic, haunting and extraordinarily depressing film. The performances are terrific, the writing and direction just great, and the cinematography unforgettable. If you’re thinking it might be hot to watch two straight stars like Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger make out, you need to know the sex scene is quick (less than a minute of screen time) and you don’t get to see any of either of the stars' goods. Sure, the kissing sequences can get a little erotic, but that isn't the point of this movie, and you'll get over any horny thoughts within the first five minutes. Truly, it’s a film no one should miss, and if you haven’t seen it, get to it this weekend, before it leaves your local cinema.
Brokeback brought a lot of my personal memories back, I have to say. I once had a relationship very similar to the one presented in the film. The guy I was dating (this was almost twenty years ago) didn't want his family or friends to know he was interested in guys. I was always introduced as a buddy. He and I were secretly together for two years (on and off), and after we parted ways he married a very nice woman who ended up killing herself. Very sad.
With Brokeback Mountain I've now seen all of this year’s Best Picture Oscar nominees. I've liked them all very much, but I have to say if I were forced to vote for one over any of the others, it would have to be Capote. Philip Seymore Hoffman is amazing and frankly I felt the film hung together as a cohesive whole better than the other four. But Brokeback would be right behind it for my vote.
Much closer to porn, I rented the filthiest documentary I’ve ever seen last night. It’s also easily the funniest. I laughed harder than I have (at anything) in the last couple years – Really! Run out and rent The Aristocrats. It features 30 or so comedians (everyone from George Carlin and Phyllis Diller to Robin Williams and Jon Stewart) telling the same joke -- the world's dirtiest. And it really is really, really dirty. If you're easily offended you won't like this film, but since you’re reading this blog I have a feeling you’ll find it as gut-wrenchingly funny as I did. I highly recommend this one for anyone who loves comedy, dirty jokes or show business in general.
Okay, there is my report on my non-porn viewing from this weekend. Now I’m going to get out my cum rag, get naked, and start doing the real work the Lord intended me to do. And then, of course, write about it for you. I’m getting hard already.
Well, I finally got around to it this weekend. It's an amazing, disturbing, romantic, haunting and extraordinarily depressing film. The performances are terrific, the writing and direction just great, and the cinematography unforgettable. If you’re thinking it might be hot to watch two straight stars like Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger make out, you need to know the sex scene is quick (less than a minute of screen time) and you don’t get to see any of either of the stars' goods. Sure, the kissing sequences can get a little erotic, but that isn't the point of this movie, and you'll get over any horny thoughts within the first five minutes. Truly, it’s a film no one should miss, and if you haven’t seen it, get to it this weekend, before it leaves your local cinema.
Brokeback brought a lot of my personal memories back, I have to say. I once had a relationship very similar to the one presented in the film. The guy I was dating (this was almost twenty years ago) didn't want his family or friends to know he was interested in guys. I was always introduced as a buddy. He and I were secretly together for two years (on and off), and after we parted ways he married a very nice woman who ended up killing herself. Very sad.
With Brokeback Mountain I've now seen all of this year’s Best Picture Oscar nominees. I've liked them all very much, but I have to say if I were forced to vote for one over any of the others, it would have to be Capote. Philip Seymore Hoffman is amazing and frankly I felt the film hung together as a cohesive whole better than the other four. But Brokeback would be right behind it for my vote.
Much closer to porn, I rented the filthiest documentary I’ve ever seen last night. It’s also easily the funniest. I laughed harder than I have (at anything) in the last couple years – Really! Run out and rent The Aristocrats. It features 30 or so comedians (everyone from George Carlin and Phyllis Diller to Robin Williams and Jon Stewart) telling the same joke -- the world's dirtiest. And it really is really, really dirty. If you're easily offended you won't like this film, but since you’re reading this blog I have a feeling you’ll find it as gut-wrenchingly funny as I did. I highly recommend this one for anyone who loves comedy, dirty jokes or show business in general.
Okay, there is my report on my non-porn viewing from this weekend. Now I’m going to get out my cum rag, get naked, and start doing the real work the Lord intended me to do. And then, of course, write about it for you. I’m getting hard already.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Ad Off
I was rubbing one off to a gay DVD last night (The great classic Heroes – but that review is another blog entry) and when I traveled from Main Menu to Previews I was surprised that there was A) no previews for any film, but instead an ad for a sex website, and B) the ad was for a straight website.
Now I’m gay and still love straight porn, we all know that. And I’ve come to be web-friends with several gay men who enjoy jacking-off to straight porn. But I bet we’re a small minority in the gay community. Besides, last night I fast-forwarded through the ad, and I get off on boy/girl fucking. Of all the advertisements they could have added to the DVD of a classic gay porn film, they chose one with tits, pussy and big hair? Does this work for them? Have they ever gotten responses from someone who, anxious to see Tim Kramer rim Jim Bentley, just happened across a pitch for hot girl-on-girl action? Does this PR strategy pay off? Maybe, but I have trouble buying it.
These old classic films don’t have a lot of extra material for DVD special features, I understand that. Deleted scenes, alternative camera angles or out-takes just don’t exist anymore for these films. But – come on -- is it so difficult to match up DVD extras with the feature presentation? Just something in the same ballpark, something the movie’s viewer might actually be interested in, interested in seeing, and maybe even interested in purchasing. It makes sense to me, but then I’m not a porn producer or marketer. Maybe I should be. Maybe a new career lies ahead of me!
Now I’m gay and still love straight porn, we all know that. And I’ve come to be web-friends with several gay men who enjoy jacking-off to straight porn. But I bet we’re a small minority in the gay community. Besides, last night I fast-forwarded through the ad, and I get off on boy/girl fucking. Of all the advertisements they could have added to the DVD of a classic gay porn film, they chose one with tits, pussy and big hair? Does this work for them? Have they ever gotten responses from someone who, anxious to see Tim Kramer rim Jim Bentley, just happened across a pitch for hot girl-on-girl action? Does this PR strategy pay off? Maybe, but I have trouble buying it.
These old classic films don’t have a lot of extra material for DVD special features, I understand that. Deleted scenes, alternative camera angles or out-takes just don’t exist anymore for these films. But – come on -- is it so difficult to match up DVD extras with the feature presentation? Just something in the same ballpark, something the movie’s viewer might actually be interested in, interested in seeing, and maybe even interested in purchasing. It makes sense to me, but then I’m not a porn producer or marketer. Maybe I should be. Maybe a new career lies ahead of me!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
My First Gay Ol' Time
I recently wrote about the first time I went to see a straight porno movie. I was thinking about it again the other day, and was remembering the first time I went to a gay porno movie.
I was dating a guy named Carl at the time. He was in the navy stationed in the town in which I lived. Carl, it turns out, kept a lot of secrets from me and from a lot of people. After we'd been dating for six months, I learned he was 18 years old, not 21 (as he'd told me) even though that's what his ID said (He had to have the fake ID, I guess, since you have to be 21 to get into a bar in Washington State. And we were often in bars together.) The other big surprise was when I discovered he was married. To a woman! That was a massive surprise, especially when the wife showed up knowing nothing about Carl or me or our cock sucking. Ah, well.
But one weekday afternoon, before the wife made her way to town, Carl and I took a trip into Seattle. I had never been to a gay porno flick, although Carl had been to many, mostly when he had been stationed in San Francisco. There was only one gay adult theatre in Seattle in the early eighties, and I'm sorry to say I've forgotten what it was called. It was on First Avenue near the waterfront. If you're Seattle literate, it was somewhere near where the art museum is located now, although the theatre was on the west side of First. Now when I pass the strip joint in that neighborhood, I often wonder if that's where the gay porn was shown.
When Carl and I arrived the theatre was between shows and in complete and total darkness. This place had not been one of the great, luxurious movie houses of the thirties. It was an old warehouse or something of that ilk, installed with stadium seating and a screen. When the projector finally purred to life the first thing Carl and I saw was a public service trailer warning the audience about unscrupulous guys trying to rob you. The short was set in the back room of a gay adult theatre where one guy walks up to another, kisses him, drops to his knees and starts sucking the standing man's cock. As he does, the sucker pulls the suckee's wallet out of his lowered jeans and pockets it. Running at about four minutes, this was the first gay porn flick I ever saw in a theatre. I had seen gay videos, of course, but this was film -- Cinema!
I've never seen another "public service" porn short since. Sure there were messeges at the end of eighties videos teaching about AIDS and condoms. But I've never heard of anything that ran in theatres, and since that time I've looked around a lot for them. I wonder if any copies of this little robbery short still exsist?
Soon it was time for the feature presentation. The film playing that day was titled Performance. I've searched for years but found little information about this movie. I have no idea who the stars were, nor do I even know when it was produced. I had this Seattle adventure somewhere around 1980 or '81, and the theatre was a "first run" house, so I'm guessing it was made around then.
The plot deals with a handsome young theatre director calling actors to appear in a play he's producing. Each of the men called just happens to be in the middle of having sex when the phone rings. One guy is even in the pool with a lover being filmed for a porn film when called to the phone.
Tragically, that afternoon I had an appointment I couldn't get out of, so Carl and I could only stay for about an hour of the film. Consequently, I have no idea how it ends. Carl was later convinced that the play the Director character was casting was Boys in the Band. I felt certain a porno movie wouldn't use the name of an actual hit Broadway play. It doesn't really matter, it was porn, I was interested in the sex, not the denouement.
If only I knew then what I know now. Although the theatre was very dark, I didn't pull my dick out to jack-off, or reach over to pull Carl's dick out to jack him off. At the time I thought it was inappropriate to do something like that with my boyfriend sitting right beside me. Carl would have loved it, and in retrospect I'm kind of surprised he didn't reach over and pull out my cock. That's the kind of thing he liked to do.
The men's room must have been somewhere behind the screen, because there was a steady stream of guys walking in and out of that area. I didn't have to take a leak during this performance of Performance, so I didn't head to the head. Now I would kill to know what was going on back there. I'm sure it was very nasty and extremely illegal. And I would have loved to have seen it. Or joined in.
That was the only time I ever went to a gay porn theatre showing 35mm film. By the time I made it to The Campus Theatre in San Francisco they were showing video porn between male strippers. And that's a very different experience.
I'd love to find a DVD of Performance and see it again. I'd like to have another look at the (as I remember it) hot sex, and to find out how the fucker ends. I also wish there were someway to discover what Carl is up to these days. I wonder if he is still with his wife. He loved it up the butt, so I wonder if she ever used a strap-on on him. I wonder if she eventually found out about his secret sex life. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't had an appointment that afternoon, had pulled Carl's cock out of his pants, had gone back to the men's room behind the screen.
I wonder a lot of things.
I was dating a guy named Carl at the time. He was in the navy stationed in the town in which I lived. Carl, it turns out, kept a lot of secrets from me and from a lot of people. After we'd been dating for six months, I learned he was 18 years old, not 21 (as he'd told me) even though that's what his ID said (He had to have the fake ID, I guess, since you have to be 21 to get into a bar in Washington State. And we were often in bars together.) The other big surprise was when I discovered he was married. To a woman! That was a massive surprise, especially when the wife showed up knowing nothing about Carl or me or our cock sucking. Ah, well.
But one weekday afternoon, before the wife made her way to town, Carl and I took a trip into Seattle. I had never been to a gay porno flick, although Carl had been to many, mostly when he had been stationed in San Francisco. There was only one gay adult theatre in Seattle in the early eighties, and I'm sorry to say I've forgotten what it was called. It was on First Avenue near the waterfront. If you're Seattle literate, it was somewhere near where the art museum is located now, although the theatre was on the west side of First. Now when I pass the strip joint in that neighborhood, I often wonder if that's where the gay porn was shown.
When Carl and I arrived the theatre was between shows and in complete and total darkness. This place had not been one of the great, luxurious movie houses of the thirties. It was an old warehouse or something of that ilk, installed with stadium seating and a screen. When the projector finally purred to life the first thing Carl and I saw was a public service trailer warning the audience about unscrupulous guys trying to rob you. The short was set in the back room of a gay adult theatre where one guy walks up to another, kisses him, drops to his knees and starts sucking the standing man's cock. As he does, the sucker pulls the suckee's wallet out of his lowered jeans and pockets it. Running at about four minutes, this was the first gay porn flick I ever saw in a theatre. I had seen gay videos, of course, but this was film -- Cinema!
I've never seen another "public service" porn short since. Sure there were messeges at the end of eighties videos teaching about AIDS and condoms. But I've never heard of anything that ran in theatres, and since that time I've looked around a lot for them. I wonder if any copies of this little robbery short still exsist?
Soon it was time for the feature presentation. The film playing that day was titled Performance. I've searched for years but found little information about this movie. I have no idea who the stars were, nor do I even know when it was produced. I had this Seattle adventure somewhere around 1980 or '81, and the theatre was a "first run" house, so I'm guessing it was made around then.
The plot deals with a handsome young theatre director calling actors to appear in a play he's producing. Each of the men called just happens to be in the middle of having sex when the phone rings. One guy is even in the pool with a lover being filmed for a porn film when called to the phone.
Tragically, that afternoon I had an appointment I couldn't get out of, so Carl and I could only stay for about an hour of the film. Consequently, I have no idea how it ends. Carl was later convinced that the play the Director character was casting was Boys in the Band. I felt certain a porno movie wouldn't use the name of an actual hit Broadway play. It doesn't really matter, it was porn, I was interested in the sex, not the denouement.
If only I knew then what I know now. Although the theatre was very dark, I didn't pull my dick out to jack-off, or reach over to pull Carl's dick out to jack him off. At the time I thought it was inappropriate to do something like that with my boyfriend sitting right beside me. Carl would have loved it, and in retrospect I'm kind of surprised he didn't reach over and pull out my cock. That's the kind of thing he liked to do.
The men's room must have been somewhere behind the screen, because there was a steady stream of guys walking in and out of that area. I didn't have to take a leak during this performance of Performance, so I didn't head to the head. Now I would kill to know what was going on back there. I'm sure it was very nasty and extremely illegal. And I would have loved to have seen it. Or joined in.
That was the only time I ever went to a gay porn theatre showing 35mm film. By the time I made it to The Campus Theatre in San Francisco they were showing video porn between male strippers. And that's a very different experience.
I'd love to find a DVD of Performance and see it again. I'd like to have another look at the (as I remember it) hot sex, and to find out how the fucker ends. I also wish there were someway to discover what Carl is up to these days. I wonder if he is still with his wife. He loved it up the butt, so I wonder if she ever used a strap-on on him. I wonder if she eventually found out about his secret sex life. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't had an appointment that afternoon, had pulled Carl's cock out of his pants, had gone back to the men's room behind the screen.
I wonder a lot of things.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Double, Double, Toil and (Big) Trouble
Renting two porn flicks similar to each other at the same time is a bad idea. That’s what I did last night. Sitting on the shelf at my local porn shop was two of my favorite Euro-Smut company Private’s Pirate Fetish Machine collection. I rented them both without another thought.
Sex in a Frame and Funky Fetish Horror Show (a satire of The Rocky Horror Picture Show) are both the extremely well produced, high budget, high concept porn we’ve come to expect from our friends at Private. The sets are unusual and innovative, the lighting high-tech, the stars stunningly hot, the sex intense, the cum shots copious, and both films very easy to rub one off to.
The problem I encountered though was simple. Both flicks are amazingly similar. Produced in 2002, both are directed by one of Private’s most ingenious and artistic directors, the singularly monikered Kovi, and both featured many of the same actors, like Csoky and Steve Holmes, as well as many of the same women. Most disturbingly, however, the same fetish-wear costumes popped up in both flicks, and the same sex acts were repeated over and over and over.
I have to be honest; I’m not the biggest fetish fan in the world. It’s hard to believe I’m a vanilla boy, but in many ways I am. But, like a lot of people, I find sexy folks of both sexes wearing leather or latex or rubber to be fairly stimulating once in a while. I wouldn’t want that to be the only thing I ever saw them wear, but once in a while … you know. But to see the exact same metallic blue latex shorts on Csoky, and the same leather strapped bra on the same women in two porn films in one night became repetitive, and somehow disconcerting. I know there were probably days if not weeks between filming for the two projects, but it didn’t seem that way to me. I was still sitting in the same chair, with the same (unused) cum-rag and the same seeping hard-on. I hadn’t cleaned up between films … so, what would make me think they had? That’s a silly way to think I know, but porn is all about perception, and that’s what I perceived last night.
Now let’s talk about shoe, foot and toe licking. Both films contain tons of it. Tons of it. And it does nothing for me. In fact, it’s kind of a turn off. A guy sucking the clear plastic spiked-heal of a shoe as if he’s sucking a cock should, in theory, be sexier than fuck. I don’t find it so, and I especially don’t find it so after I’ve seen the same shoe on at least four different women. Ripping open a stocking so you can suck a woman’s toes? Count me out. Want to shove your cock under the top of a fishnet and hump away? Be my guest, but, be warned, I’m going to become bored watching you do it.
If this is your kink, if this is the thing that really gets your dick hard, I think that’s terrific. Go for it! Enjoy it! I’m certainly not judging anyone for getting off on this kind of fetish, I’m just saying it isn’t my fetish.
The scenarios for both films are pretty standard. In Sex in a Frame, a couple gets locked in a museum after hours where they and two guards keep getting magically pulled into paintings where fetish group sex is the norm. Fun is had by all.
Slightly more disappointing is Funky Fetish Horror Show. A young couple (yes, named Brad and Janet) whose car has broken down, trudge through the rain back to the local castle only to be put through their sexual paces. Steve Holmes plays the Frank N. Furter character, complete with make-up, corset, cape and fishnets. Holmes has never been one of my favorite Euro-Studs. Sure he has a massive cock, but I’ve never found him very handsome and he has a scrawny body. Anyway, as the film progresses you can guess what happens. The question I ended up asking myself was, why for the final "big-sex" scene did they decide to use only four people? There were nine or so stars used throughout the film, why weren’t they all used in a huge orgy? That would have been something.
So, today’s lesson class; don’t rent two movies that are very similar on the same evening unless you’re really, really into the subject, or fetish, or sub-genre they cover. I think I would have enjoyed both these movies separately, but together they just became much too much of a good thing.
And much too much foot sucking, too.
Sex in a Frame and Funky Fetish Horror Show (a satire of The Rocky Horror Picture Show) are both the extremely well produced, high budget, high concept porn we’ve come to expect from our friends at Private. The sets are unusual and innovative, the lighting high-tech, the stars stunningly hot, the sex intense, the cum shots copious, and both films very easy to rub one off to.
The problem I encountered though was simple. Both flicks are amazingly similar. Produced in 2002, both are directed by one of Private’s most ingenious and artistic directors, the singularly monikered Kovi, and both featured many of the same actors, like Csoky and Steve Holmes, as well as many of the same women. Most disturbingly, however, the same fetish-wear costumes popped up in both flicks, and the same sex acts were repeated over and over and over.
I have to be honest; I’m not the biggest fetish fan in the world. It’s hard to believe I’m a vanilla boy, but in many ways I am. But, like a lot of people, I find sexy folks of both sexes wearing leather or latex or rubber to be fairly stimulating once in a while. I wouldn’t want that to be the only thing I ever saw them wear, but once in a while … you know. But to see the exact same metallic blue latex shorts on Csoky, and the same leather strapped bra on the same women in two porn films in one night became repetitive, and somehow disconcerting. I know there were probably days if not weeks between filming for the two projects, but it didn’t seem that way to me. I was still sitting in the same chair, with the same (unused) cum-rag and the same seeping hard-on. I hadn’t cleaned up between films … so, what would make me think they had? That’s a silly way to think I know, but porn is all about perception, and that’s what I perceived last night.
Now let’s talk about shoe, foot and toe licking. Both films contain tons of it. Tons of it. And it does nothing for me. In fact, it’s kind of a turn off. A guy sucking the clear plastic spiked-heal of a shoe as if he’s sucking a cock should, in theory, be sexier than fuck. I don’t find it so, and I especially don’t find it so after I’ve seen the same shoe on at least four different women. Ripping open a stocking so you can suck a woman’s toes? Count me out. Want to shove your cock under the top of a fishnet and hump away? Be my guest, but, be warned, I’m going to become bored watching you do it.
If this is your kink, if this is the thing that really gets your dick hard, I think that’s terrific. Go for it! Enjoy it! I’m certainly not judging anyone for getting off on this kind of fetish, I’m just saying it isn’t my fetish.
The scenarios for both films are pretty standard. In Sex in a Frame, a couple gets locked in a museum after hours where they and two guards keep getting magically pulled into paintings where fetish group sex is the norm. Fun is had by all.
Slightly more disappointing is Funky Fetish Horror Show. A young couple (yes, named Brad and Janet) whose car has broken down, trudge through the rain back to the local castle only to be put through their sexual paces. Steve Holmes plays the Frank N. Furter character, complete with make-up, corset, cape and fishnets. Holmes has never been one of my favorite Euro-Studs. Sure he has a massive cock, but I’ve never found him very handsome and he has a scrawny body. Anyway, as the film progresses you can guess what happens. The question I ended up asking myself was, why for the final "big-sex" scene did they decide to use only four people? There were nine or so stars used throughout the film, why weren’t they all used in a huge orgy? That would have been something.
So, today’s lesson class; don’t rent two movies that are very similar on the same evening unless you’re really, really into the subject, or fetish, or sub-genre they cover. I think I would have enjoyed both these movies separately, but together they just became much too much of a good thing.
And much too much foot sucking, too.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Bareback ... Brokeback ... Which Mountain?
And I was making a joke. A couple months ago I wrote an entry about Brokeback Mountain in which I jokingly referred to it as "Bareback Mountain." "Ha, ha, ha," thought I.
Well, it’s out already. And look at the cover of the DVD, the producers found a couple gay porn stars that look amazingly like Heath and Jake.
The plot, however, seems to have nothing in common with Brokeback Mountain. Here is a story summation from MovieMountain.com: "Jason and Hunter start this rodeo with a hot suck fuck fest. No rodeo‘s complete without some riding right? Hunter yanks down his jeans and eagerly awaits Jason's cock. Jason climbs on board shoving a huge cock into Hunter's tight asshole. Fucking continues; Hunter slowly sits down on Jason's cock, riding it until he can't take it and blows a huge load. Jason blows his load all over Hunter's back, hitting Hunter in the face. Romance starts off around the pool table. Turk and Winter shoot a game of strip poker pool. Tyler Anthony watches the game. Soon they’re both naked; Winter ups the stakes, "…every time I sink something I get to do something to you." After some hot cock sucking, Winter turns Turk around, takes down his pants and says, "here, you'll want to bite down on this". Some hot ass fucking ensues; Anthony blows his load watching the action. Winter blows his hot load all over Turk’s ass and back. Turk spins around and blows his load onto his stomach and chest." You can get more information or order the film at www.moviemountain.com or http://www.pornteam.com/catalog/customer/product.php?productid=16905
One of my complaints with adult film satires of mainstream motion pictures is they make a pun on the title, copy the look of the film, and sometimes use porn actors who resemble the original stars, but they rarely follow the original plot. Of course, I realize it would be copyright infringement to follow the story exactly, but it’s a send-up, isn’t it? Why doesn’t the new plot have something in common with the source material or at least make fun of it?
All that being said, I would like to see Bareback Mountain. But at $49.95 I’ll just wait until it hits the shelf at my local porn store where I can rent it. But if you’ve seen it, I’d love to hear about it.
Well, it’s out already. And look at the cover of the DVD, the producers found a couple gay porn stars that look amazingly like Heath and Jake.
The plot, however, seems to have nothing in common with Brokeback Mountain. Here is a story summation from MovieMountain.com: "Jason and Hunter start this rodeo with a hot suck fuck fest. No rodeo‘s complete without some riding right? Hunter yanks down his jeans and eagerly awaits Jason's cock. Jason climbs on board shoving a huge cock into Hunter's tight asshole. Fucking continues; Hunter slowly sits down on Jason's cock, riding it until he can't take it and blows a huge load. Jason blows his load all over Hunter's back, hitting Hunter in the face. Romance starts off around the pool table. Turk and Winter shoot a game of strip poker pool. Tyler Anthony watches the game. Soon they’re both naked; Winter ups the stakes, "…every time I sink something I get to do something to you." After some hot cock sucking, Winter turns Turk around, takes down his pants and says, "here, you'll want to bite down on this". Some hot ass fucking ensues; Anthony blows his load watching the action. Winter blows his hot load all over Turk’s ass and back. Turk spins around and blows his load onto his stomach and chest." You can get more information or order the film at www.moviemountain.com or http://www.pornteam.com/catalog/customer/product.php?productid=16905
One of my complaints with adult film satires of mainstream motion pictures is they make a pun on the title, copy the look of the film, and sometimes use porn actors who resemble the original stars, but they rarely follow the original plot. Of course, I realize it would be copyright infringement to follow the story exactly, but it’s a send-up, isn’t it? Why doesn’t the new plot have something in common with the source material or at least make fun of it?
All that being said, I would like to see Bareback Mountain. But at $49.95 I’ll just wait until it hits the shelf at my local porn store where I can rent it. But if you’ve seen it, I’d love to hear about it.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Taken Bi Surprise
I pulled out an old tape I haven’t watched for several years last night, and it contained a sex scene I had completely forgotten, and that truly surprised me. 1987’s straight stroker, Cabaret Sin is one of the early "shot on video-tape" films, early enough that the production values are still quite high. Produced by the great Kirdy Stevens (producer of the famed Taboo series, and other classic whackers) and directed by Phillip O'Toole, Cabaret Sin takes place in the not so distant future. There has been a nuclear explosion (or something) and because no one wants the mutants to multiply, sex has been outlawed. Cabaret Sin is the government sanctioned night-club where mutants go and watch beautiful, undeformed people have sex. A private-eye (played by blonde hottie Greg Derek, even though many websites and the box cover says it is Randy West – who is nowhere to be seen in the video) goes there to investigate police corruption, and finds plenty of it.
Overall it’s a pretty good film. Trying for a Fosse-like Cabaret effect, every scene is soaked in smoke. Unfortunately, whoever was running the fog-machine let it get out of control every time anyone starts to fuck. You can still see everything, but it is sometimes hard to clearly make out what’s going on. The great Kevin James plays a half robot, half mutant cop who illegally fucks one of the performers, and although I usually find James stunningly sexy, here he is not. Because he is made-up to look like someone who’s been exposed to radiation poisoning, he isn’t anyone you’d necessarily want to jack-off to. The scene is a disappointment.
The "acts" presented at the cabaret make up most of the film’s sex scenes. It was one of these scenes that completely caught me off guard. A woman on stage is playing the trombone, and behind her are two guys playing trumpets. The three of them are swinging back and forth in unison, not unlike ZZ Top. That is, if ZZ Top didn’t have beards, wore white dinner jackets, and had no sense of rhythm. The women begins to masturbate with the trombone (to the delight of the mutant audience), and then drops to her knees, crawls over to the guys, unzips their pants, and proceeds to blow them. Presently we see the three of them naked and the sex starts in earnest.
But then something happens you just don’t see very often. In the middle of a fairly hot, if relatively ordinary, three-way, one of the men starts to suck the other guy’s cock. The scene turns into a full blown bisexual sequence in an otherwise completely straight porn flick (if you don’t count the solitary girl-on-girl scene.) One of the guys sits on the other’s face, they sixty nine while the girl watches, and then they shoot cum all over each other and her. The mutant audience is confused by what they’re witnessing, and some even boo. The movie moves on to another dialogue sequence, and the bisexuality is never referred to again.
This got me thinking (it also got me off, by the way.) We know there are damn few straight porn films that don’t contain at least one lesbian section, ‘cause you breeder boys just love that. But how many main-stream straight porn flicks have male bisexual scenes? I can think of only two others I’ve seen, albeit containing very brief moments of bi fun. A classic film I saw years ago in a porno store "preview room" titled (as I recall) Sodom and Gomorrah contained a quick moment in an orgy where one guy grabs another guy’s dick and leans down to start sucking it. I believe the guy even came in his buddy’s mouth, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie, and so I couldn’t swear in court the oral money-shot moment is even in the film.
Another movie was one I rented a couple years ago. A Russian production called something like Bear Run or Bear Club or something of that nature (I remember it was from a company called Sunshine Films that produced only one other film I’ve found, a movie called Lustful Witches of the Russian Village.) The Bear film featured another orgy sequence, and again one of the guys fell to his knees and started sucking one of his male friends. There is instantly a quick edit, and suddenly we’re back to purely straight sex. (I wonder if in the European release this blow-job played out to some sort of conclusion. Europeans are a lot more open minded than we are.) These two examples are very brief moments, as opposed to the Cabaret Sin scene in which the guys are active with each other for a full six or seven minute scene.
Along the same lines, there was a Private flick I rented once (and, sorry, I’ve forgotten the title) where, in a behind-the-scenes moment, three of the well-known straight Euro-Stars are sitting on a couch together getting ready to film a scene while their female co-star is being made-up. They are wearing running shorts and feeling themselves up through the shorts, keeping hard and ready for the up-coming shoot. One of these Euro-Studs jokingly grabs and shakes another star’s hard cock through his shorts. Everyone laughs, he drops it and that’s the entire episode.
So, my questions are, how many of these "bi guy" sequences are there in straight films? And I have to wonder, how do straight boys watching a "vanilla porn flick" react when a "bi guy" scene unexpectantly springs up?
Now that’s something I’d like to hear about.
Overall it’s a pretty good film. Trying for a Fosse-like Cabaret effect, every scene is soaked in smoke. Unfortunately, whoever was running the fog-machine let it get out of control every time anyone starts to fuck. You can still see everything, but it is sometimes hard to clearly make out what’s going on. The great Kevin James plays a half robot, half mutant cop who illegally fucks one of the performers, and although I usually find James stunningly sexy, here he is not. Because he is made-up to look like someone who’s been exposed to radiation poisoning, he isn’t anyone you’d necessarily want to jack-off to. The scene is a disappointment.
The "acts" presented at the cabaret make up most of the film’s sex scenes. It was one of these scenes that completely caught me off guard. A woman on stage is playing the trombone, and behind her are two guys playing trumpets. The three of them are swinging back and forth in unison, not unlike ZZ Top. That is, if ZZ Top didn’t have beards, wore white dinner jackets, and had no sense of rhythm. The women begins to masturbate with the trombone (to the delight of the mutant audience), and then drops to her knees, crawls over to the guys, unzips their pants, and proceeds to blow them. Presently we see the three of them naked and the sex starts in earnest.
But then something happens you just don’t see very often. In the middle of a fairly hot, if relatively ordinary, three-way, one of the men starts to suck the other guy’s cock. The scene turns into a full blown bisexual sequence in an otherwise completely straight porn flick (if you don’t count the solitary girl-on-girl scene.) One of the guys sits on the other’s face, they sixty nine while the girl watches, and then they shoot cum all over each other and her. The mutant audience is confused by what they’re witnessing, and some even boo. The movie moves on to another dialogue sequence, and the bisexuality is never referred to again.
This got me thinking (it also got me off, by the way.) We know there are damn few straight porn films that don’t contain at least one lesbian section, ‘cause you breeder boys just love that. But how many main-stream straight porn flicks have male bisexual scenes? I can think of only two others I’ve seen, albeit containing very brief moments of bi fun. A classic film I saw years ago in a porno store "preview room" titled (as I recall) Sodom and Gomorrah contained a quick moment in an orgy where one guy grabs another guy’s dick and leans down to start sucking it. I believe the guy even came in his buddy’s mouth, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie, and so I couldn’t swear in court the oral money-shot moment is even in the film.
Another movie was one I rented a couple years ago. A Russian production called something like Bear Run or Bear Club or something of that nature (I remember it was from a company called Sunshine Films that produced only one other film I’ve found, a movie called Lustful Witches of the Russian Village.) The Bear film featured another orgy sequence, and again one of the guys fell to his knees and started sucking one of his male friends. There is instantly a quick edit, and suddenly we’re back to purely straight sex. (I wonder if in the European release this blow-job played out to some sort of conclusion. Europeans are a lot more open minded than we are.) These two examples are very brief moments, as opposed to the Cabaret Sin scene in which the guys are active with each other for a full six or seven minute scene.
Along the same lines, there was a Private flick I rented once (and, sorry, I’ve forgotten the title) where, in a behind-the-scenes moment, three of the well-known straight Euro-Stars are sitting on a couch together getting ready to film a scene while their female co-star is being made-up. They are wearing running shorts and feeling themselves up through the shorts, keeping hard and ready for the up-coming shoot. One of these Euro-Studs jokingly grabs and shakes another star’s hard cock through his shorts. Everyone laughs, he drops it and that’s the entire episode.
So, my questions are, how many of these "bi guy" sequences are there in straight films? And I have to wonder, how do straight boys watching a "vanilla porn flick" react when a "bi guy" scene unexpectantly springs up?
Now that’s something I’d like to hear about.
