Porn Watcher

There are some television networks I normally wouldn’t watch on a dare, but will always stop and check out when I’m channel surfing. I don’t want to mention any names, but one of those networks is run by, aimed at, and programmed purely by evangelical Christians. I’m not at all religious myself, and, I have to admit, often find the way rabid Christians think, speak and behave to be hilariously funny. I particularly find miraculous healings entertaining, and so I never miss checking to see what’s happening on the particular network in question.

So, last night I’m jumping from channel to channel, and of course stop to see what the Jesus Jumpers are up to. No healings, unfortunately, but something just as amusing. On a very homey set, complete with comfortable couch and fireplace, sat legendary cowboy spouse Dale Evans, the late wife of the even later Roy Rogers. Now Miss Evans has been dead for at least four years, and my assumption that the Rapture must have occurred and Miss Evans had been resurrected proved to be incorrect. I discovered at the end of the show, the current television program is a compilation of her finest past interviews with Christian stars.

Okay, you say, but what the fuck does this have to do with watching porn? Hang on, I’m getting to it.

Dale was improbably interviewing Todd Bridges. (Now if that doesn’t catch your eye, you’ve got to be dead.) I won’t go into details of the conversation, but the juxtaposition of an old school Hollywood diva and one of television’s most notorious bad boys (I mean, come on, he did shoot somebody once) couldn’t have been more sublimely bizarre or funnier.

But then, then next guest came on. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was Sam Jones. He was introduced as Bo Derek’s costar in the classic sex farce 10, as well as the guy who played the extremely sexy title character in Flash Gordon. They talked about his film and television career, the numerous awards he’s received, his conversion to Christianity, and what he’s up to these days (not much). What they didn’t talk about was his famous 1975 spreads (and I do mean spread) in Playgirl Magazine. His two or three nude layouts made him one of the magazine’s most remembered and requested models. He even became a Playgirl Man of the Year, as well as appearing on the cover of their tenth anniversary issue.

I vividly remember Jones’ pictures in Playgirl. I was a teenager when I discovered them, and jacked-off to them endlessly. I thought it was so sexy to see a star I had seen on the big screen walking around naked, freely showing his large hairy cock, and just generally looking stunningly hot.

Let me tell you, he doesn’t look like that anymore. Jones has not aged well in the 30 years since he posed nude, and frankly, he looks (as Miss Evans might have said) like he’s been rode hard and put away wet. From what he said in the interview, he has had something of a tough road. But he has renounced his mistakes, he claims, and turned away from his sinful past. He never said what that past was, but to the ears of someone like me, who had jacked-off endlessly to photos of this hunk, it could only have had to do with sex.

All I can say is, I hope Jones had a lot of fun back then. I sure would have liked to have had some fun with him. Back then, I mean.