Saturday, July 15, 2006
Lollipop Perfection
I’m currently visiting beautiful Seattle on business, but now that I have actually gone out and bought a laptop, I’m able to keep up with the blog wherever I am. The evening before I left for the Emerald City, I took my pants off and enjoyed most of one of the great straight classics of all time, Lollipop Palace.
Directed in 1976 by the amazing Kirdy Stevens (who also directed the first three films in the brilliant Taboo series), this homage to San Francisco’s great cat-houses is set in the depression inflicted 1930s. Bunny Savage plays naïve Bonnie, a young woman out of work and starving, who decides to become a “workin’ girl.” She visits the best and bawdiest bordello in town, run by the local madam, played with relish by Frenchie Dior. Ms. Dior performs the entire role as a really bad Mae West impersonation -- and I mean so bad it would make a drag queen wince. But, that being said, it’s still very funny, and Ms. Dior’s delivery of some of Ms. West’s best lines (“A good man is hard to find and a hard man is good to find.”) become hilarious in their ineptitude.
That being said, this is marvelous classic porn. The movie starts with one whore having her face blasted with sticky cum from a hot, unidentified young man. Then a sailor is taken (and I do mean taken) by another of the madam’s girls to a dungeon where she makes him rape her, then ties him up and beats him with a whip until he shoots into her mouth.
There’s a terrific three-way with a hooker, an Italian customer, and his male translator. A brash Texan, played by Rick Lutz shows up with his wife. The wife wants to try being a whore and so she goes off with John Holmes while “Tex” heads off with two of the madam‘s employees. He makes the girls put on a show for him before joining them, ordering them around while they suck him, and then he fucks them extremely hard. This is an enormously hot scene, as hot as anything Kirdy Stevens ever directed. In fact, I feel safe to say it may be Stevens’ finest, most boner inducing scene of all. As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t watch this entire movie. This cum bubbling scene is the reason.
I have to say one thing about John Holmes. I know he is a porn icon. I know he may be the most famous (and notorious) adult film star that ever was or maybe ever will be. I know he is that rarest of things, a male star who sells tickets and DVDs in straight porn. I know all that. But I don’t like the guy. This film is a perfect example. Although filled with hot scenes, Holmes here presents another of his perfunctory, passionless fucks. Sure he has a huge cock, and yes, I’m a little bit of a size queen, but his disinterest coupled with his at best unattractive face and undefined muscle tone make him an instant turn-off. It probably doesn’t help to know he died of AIDS while I’m watching him have unprotected sex. Sorry to say it, but when he appears on my television screen, I usually reach for the fast-forward button, and it was no different with Lollipop Palace.
Don’t be fooled by the packaging, the girls on the DVD cover currently being marketed appear nowhere in the film. But the movie is hot, the sex varied, the performers attractive (except for Holmes), and the plot contains that rarest of concepts in porn, humor. If you’re into great classic straight adult cinema buy or rent Lollipop Palace. You won’t be disappointed.
Directed in 1976 by the amazing Kirdy Stevens (who also directed the first three films in the brilliant Taboo series), this homage to San Francisco’s great cat-houses is set in the depression inflicted 1930s. Bunny Savage plays naïve Bonnie, a young woman out of work and starving, who decides to become a “workin’ girl.” She visits the best and bawdiest bordello in town, run by the local madam, played with relish by Frenchie Dior. Ms. Dior performs the entire role as a really bad Mae West impersonation -- and I mean so bad it would make a drag queen wince. But, that being said, it’s still very funny, and Ms. Dior’s delivery of some of Ms. West’s best lines (“A good man is hard to find and a hard man is good to find.”) become hilarious in their ineptitude.
That being said, this is marvelous classic porn. The movie starts with one whore having her face blasted with sticky cum from a hot, unidentified young man. Then a sailor is taken (and I do mean taken) by another of the madam’s girls to a dungeon where she makes him rape her, then ties him up and beats him with a whip until he shoots into her mouth.
There’s a terrific three-way with a hooker, an Italian customer, and his male translator. A brash Texan, played by Rick Lutz shows up with his wife. The wife wants to try being a whore and so she goes off with John Holmes while “Tex” heads off with two of the madam‘s employees. He makes the girls put on a show for him before joining them, ordering them around while they suck him, and then he fucks them extremely hard. This is an enormously hot scene, as hot as anything Kirdy Stevens ever directed. In fact, I feel safe to say it may be Stevens’ finest, most boner inducing scene of all. As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t watch this entire movie. This cum bubbling scene is the reason.
I have to say one thing about John Holmes. I know he is a porn icon. I know he may be the most famous (and notorious) adult film star that ever was or maybe ever will be. I know he is that rarest of things, a male star who sells tickets and DVDs in straight porn. I know all that. But I don’t like the guy. This film is a perfect example. Although filled with hot scenes, Holmes here presents another of his perfunctory, passionless fucks. Sure he has a huge cock, and yes, I’m a little bit of a size queen, but his disinterest coupled with his at best unattractive face and undefined muscle tone make him an instant turn-off. It probably doesn’t help to know he died of AIDS while I’m watching him have unprotected sex. Sorry to say it, but when he appears on my television screen, I usually reach for the fast-forward button, and it was no different with Lollipop Palace.
Don’t be fooled by the packaging, the girls on the DVD cover currently being marketed appear nowhere in the film. But the movie is hot, the sex varied, the performers attractive (except for Holmes), and the plot contains that rarest of concepts in porn, humor. If you’re into great classic straight adult cinema buy or rent Lollipop Palace. You won’t be disappointed.
